Environment Canada, Canada’s federal weather service, has issued a snow squall warning for my region. That’s not interesting or important. What is interest is the choice of language in the warning, more specifically the likely attempt to jazz up the warning or take on a quality tone for the prose. The key outtake is as follows:

A SHARP COLD FRONT IS SLICING ACROSS THE LOWER GREAT LAKES THIS MORNING OPENING THE FLOODGATES TO A COLD ARCTIC AIRMASS CURRENTLY IN PLACE OVER NORTHERN ONTARIO. AS THIS FRIGID AIRMASS CROSSES THE RELATIVELY WARM WATERS OF THE GREAT LAKES IT WILL SET UP IDEAL CONDITIONS FOR HEAVY LAKE EFFECT FLURRIES AND SNOWSQUALLS.

The all caps that the warning was issued in makes the situation all the more alarming I assume.